Thursday, February 21, 2008

Southern Invasion

"Did she talk like she just came outta the sticks?" "Everyone here talks like that!" "Better the sticks than the trailer park you crawled from." This was the conversation from the other evening I had with a yankee while at work. She was from what I like to call the DEEP North (upper Michigan). What is wrong with all the dang yankees coming down to the dirty dirty, invading us with the diseases of rudeness! If they hate the people so much and ridicule our obviously superior ways why move down here??? This is because the NORTH BLOWS cold in the winter time. How many times have you been yelled out by a yankee? Why do they think they are better than us? Is it because they sold their trailer for lots of money and move down and get screwed into buying a house in the village? I would hate to be known as one of the village people. For all of you anti-yankee league people out there please be assured most of them come down here to die so it is only a matter of time before they are gone. What makes people from the South so darn nice and friendly? There is a popular theory currently in Draft by Michael S. Craig, Ph.D that is due to the sweetening effect. The accumulation of sweet tea and Mountain Dew over a southerners lifetime will of course make their personality that much sweeter. My other rant is when a Northerner approaches me and ask do you talk so slow and with a drawl? Yankees believe this is because of our inferior intelligence. Let them believe that so I can continue to over charge them for ridiculous services like rain proof gutters, or my personal favorite, Mud resistant dirt. The real reason we speak with such an accent is of course to get all the ladies! So for you Southerners are worried about the invasion fear not I say, let them die off and we will have our land back! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YANKS, TEJLA, ALL MY PBA FRIENDS WHO RESIDE IN THE NORTH

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