Friday, March 7, 2008

Global Warming

My least favorite time of year for those of my readers who do not know me well enough to already know is Winter. However, with the advent of the global warming problem this may soon be a thing of the past. I am having a hard time discovering what is so bad about the "problem." Global warming is a release of excess carbon dioxide into the atmosphere for those uneducated people from Tennessee. What do plants consume to start the process of photosynthesis? The answer is carbon dioxide. An increase in the carbon dioxide means happier plants that produce more oxygen. The next problem the opposition wants to push is the melting of the polar ice caps. A tragedy yes for the people who live along the coastal cities, but I will be that much closer to the beach. Invest in property in the Appalachian Mountains soon because it will be priceless when the water rises and will be a mountainous and beach front region! What about the displaced wildlife that inhabits the polar regions? Simple, it is a proven fact from Michael Craig, Ph. D that penguins really want to be warm and hate their cold land. Polar bears much prefer the habitat of the zoo where they can entertain children of all ages. And perhaps the most important and over looked organism of all are the Inuits. They will lose land and their igloo homes for no ice will be available. What are they gonna do? They will have to become normal Natives like the rest of the people we took the land from, and began to manufacture coolers with the name of Igloo. What about the hole in Ozone layer that is forming? Well people are always going on about having a sun tan, and now the sun can reach them that much easier for that natural islands look. Will this cause a rise in skin cancer? Absolutely! Which will cause an increase in the economy to pull us out of the recession we are in because cancer people need medicine! It will pump unheard of millions into the health care system fueling a revival in the economy. So the next time you fill up with gas remember the simple question, "How can I get terrible gas mileage and increase the carbon dioxide levels."

1 comment:

Stressburn said...

Have you read Ben Stein's article in the Washington Post about Gas companies? We need to be giving them a hug. They employ hundreds of thousands of people, and are owned by the people. Sunoco alone paid out billions of dollars in dividends to their share holders...people like you and I. We aren't paying for corporates vacation homes or big boats. only a fraction of 1 percent is owned by individuals.