Monday, April 14, 2008

Don't Be Stupid

Bad driving, prescription errors, pissing me off, all of these things happen because of people being stupid. Why is everyone in today's capitalistic society so stupid? If only the strong survive, shouldn't 99% of the population be dead all ready (thus disproving the theory of can send me a thank-you card later Pat Robertson)? I like to blame this glitch in society on the new theory of "Shelter Effect," another one of Dr. Craig's great theories.
I am not speaking of a literal shelter, such as housing, but as a metaphorical shelter. Parents, teachers, friends, have all sheltered us out of love and concern, but in doing so have made many generations of people dumb and lazy. So many sheltered people have lost the one thing that truly separates us from the great apes, the ability of free thought. Society is becoming a herd of sheep following a shepard off a cliff of disappointment.
Now that everyone is aware of the problem let us focus on what is causing it. My biggest concern is teacher involvement with students. Teacher's have become so lenient on rules and policies we are able to run them over. I understand if a teacher feels like they are helping the student, but in actually this is putting the collar around the sheep's neck. Sometimes a person needs to put there foot down and say no more. A little dose of the real world may be just what the doctor ordered because your new boss in the world of despair will not accept an assignment late. If the sheep learn responsibility it will go a long way towards being curing the stupidity.
How many times have you gone to your wise parent's for help? I can't count that high I failed calculus, but a metric ton if you are like me. Have they usually done the job for you because you were taking to long or doing it wrong. This little parental "care" habit will dumb your children and make them blend in with society. Their entire lives they will wait for someone else to to it for them. I urge my readers to step back and take a look at how they do their day to day activities and write down all the dumb things they do. I urge everyone to stop being a sheep and start being a wolf and eating the sheep...yum...sheep chops. I urge society to not be STUPID. Together we can make a difference, together my people, we can start the "Don't be Stupid Revolution." I will start making T-Shirts and bumper stickers to help remind you and everyone who reads them. Come on reader's VIVA REVOLUTION.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Immigration Problem...Nope immigration solution.

Before I begin I would like to dedicate this blog to all of my redneck family that thoroughly hates immigration. Your bigotry and hate may only carry you so far in this new society of "tossed salad" we live in, and the time has come for you to listen to the younger generation and Maxine's Boy's Boy.
The most obvious immigration take over in my hometown is with the illegal Hispanic population. The most common argument I hear from the inbred locals is, "Them there wetties are takin' all of our jobs." Seriously toothless creep, when was the last time you picked fruit for a career? To go even further when was the last time you worked in a place long enough to call it a career. Although that is another problem entirely and will be addressed in next weeks blog, "The Career of the Year." Anyway to appease my family and keep them off my radical hippie tree-hugging, SUV hating back, here is the solution to your "problem."
Every time an illegal alien of any race is captured he shall promptly be forced into military service across the great Atlantic Ocean into modern day Iraq. There he shall be trained in hand to hand combat and given a gun. Many opponents to this theory say, "They can't understand orders." Well pulling a trigger is universal in all languages. Once the enemy is defeated and teabagged appropriately the ones who survived shall be given a parade and citizenship into the United States of America.
Let me tell you, the people, the benefits of my plan. The first and foremost is America will not look like the bad guys anymore because it will be a bunch of Hispanic people running around shooting them. They will thus hate Central America. Second is a very important one for me seeing how I live in the Ghetto. There will be less killings from stray drive-by bullets. The immigrants will get a ton more target practice from shooting the enemy so their aim will be more deadly and accurate. Third, a new gang color in America will be great, sure you got the blue crips and red bloods, but how about the indigo immigrants. You can never have enough color in society. Fourth and perhaps one of my favorites will be the increase in Hispanic restaurants. Any race that can develop a dish as tasty as a chimichanga is definitely blessed by God, and has America's blessing as well. What's even better about this war strategy is the endless supply of immigrants. Everyone wants to jump into America. I guess the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it's obviously not my yard they are seeing. Until they return with full citizenship then they are mowing it.
This solution if, given time, will have numerous more benefits, but due to space and the attention span of the readers of this blog I shall digress my opinions and feelings and leave it straight to the facts. John McCain if you are listening please take this idea into consideration. We can call it the Tennessee Transition Act of 2008. I wish all of my readers well and hope you had a safe and Happy April Fools day considering you are all fools for waisting your time on this blog.