Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Immigration Problem...Nope immigration solution.

Before I begin I would like to dedicate this blog to all of my redneck family that thoroughly hates immigration. Your bigotry and hate may only carry you so far in this new society of "tossed salad" we live in, and the time has come for you to listen to the younger generation and Maxine's Boy's Boy.
The most obvious immigration take over in my hometown is with the illegal Hispanic population. The most common argument I hear from the inbred locals is, "Them there wetties are takin' all of our jobs." Seriously toothless creep, when was the last time you picked fruit for a career? To go even further when was the last time you worked in a place long enough to call it a career. Although that is another problem entirely and will be addressed in next weeks blog, "The Career of the Year." Anyway to appease my family and keep them off my radical hippie tree-hugging, SUV hating back, here is the solution to your "problem."
Every time an illegal alien of any race is captured he shall promptly be forced into military service across the great Atlantic Ocean into modern day Iraq. There he shall be trained in hand to hand combat and given a gun. Many opponents to this theory say, "They can't understand orders." Well pulling a trigger is universal in all languages. Once the enemy is defeated and teabagged appropriately the ones who survived shall be given a parade and citizenship into the United States of America.
Let me tell you, the people, the benefits of my plan. The first and foremost is America will not look like the bad guys anymore because it will be a bunch of Hispanic people running around shooting them. They will thus hate Central America. Second is a very important one for me seeing how I live in the Ghetto. There will be less killings from stray drive-by bullets. The immigrants will get a ton more target practice from shooting the enemy so their aim will be more deadly and accurate. Third, a new gang color in America will be great, sure you got the blue crips and red bloods, but how about the indigo immigrants. You can never have enough color in society. Fourth and perhaps one of my favorites will be the increase in Hispanic restaurants. Any race that can develop a dish as tasty as a chimichanga is definitely blessed by God, and has America's blessing as well. What's even better about this war strategy is the endless supply of immigrants. Everyone wants to jump into America. I guess the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it's obviously not my yard they are seeing. Until they return with full citizenship then they are mowing it.
This solution if, given time, will have numerous more benefits, but due to space and the attention span of the readers of this blog I shall digress my opinions and feelings and leave it straight to the facts. John McCain if you are listening please take this idea into consideration. We can call it the Tennessee Transition Act of 2008. I wish all of my readers well and hope you had a safe and Happy April Fools day considering you are all fools for waisting your time on this blog.

1 comment:

stephsousa said...

I am no fool, but this blog was way funny.